One of my most difficult challenges is trying to control everything. I try to create a situation in my life where it is easier to have an environment of peace, but it requires a lot of work and it does not guarantee an outcome of peace. I might clean my house and give my son and husband things they like and make sure everyone sleeps well. I’ll manipulate my own family to create a falsified life that is not real. I am working on trying to resolve this attitude and to start living more and not restricting my life and happiness. I need to understand that my happiness is up to me, but others' happiness is not and it can’t be manipulated. It does not help anyone having manipulated happiness and it restricts the opportunity to feel endless joy. I do not have the ability to make everyone happy. This is not my responsibility. For now, I have to daily make this change to help me from the tensions that I feel at my shoulder, neck, and jaw which is where I hold this angst but no more. My family deserves better.
Comments